Depression 2022


And Jesus said unto him, “Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.”

https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Luke-23-43/

 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.  https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Psalms-30-5/

You need not fear the darkness if you are walking with the Light of the World

Death is hard for anybody.  No matter how prepared we may be for the passing of a loved one, it does not soften blow when God comes down and gets them.  People have different ways of mourning; some choose to work through the hurt to keep their minds occupied, others shut down for a while to get a grip on actually losing their loved one and still there are others who go into a deep depression that sometimes keeps them in darkness longer than necessary.  July 19, 2022 will be 9 years since my daddy got his mansion in glory and 9 years of me living with depression.

Yes, the signs were there that God was on His way, but it did nothing for me when I got the call that he was gone.  It still hurts just as bad today as it did when he left.  My weeping has endured for 9 years now and I’m still waiting for my joy to come in the morning.  I am a little better, still have some sleepless nights (not so much every day now) but I still have flashes, memories, or something that will happen on tv or a movie that reminds me of daddy and I’m still bawling like he just passed today. 

I know I will be okay because I have 20+ souls that depend on me to keep it together and lead them in the ways of God.  My members have been my therapy all these years. They have been the ones that have kept me sane all these years. My group is the reason when darkness closes in, it cannot keep its hold on me. 

I have a job to do, God called me to fulfill a purpose and depression has no place to stay, for long, I will continue to do God’s work.  I am depressed most of the time, but I will not show it.  Just like I can tell when something is wrong with them, they can tell when something is wrong with me, and I will not have them worrying about me.

Just like me, there are so many out there who suffer from depression, but you would not know it. We still function, act and continue on our day to day as if nothing is wrong when on the inside we just don’t care anymore and we are ready to call it quits.

Today, find your joy. People always say “God Is” we know He is, but sometimes that is just not enough.  Sometimes you want them in the flesh and not in spirit.  Just knowing “God Is” does not automatically stop the sadness, the anger, the hurt, the betrayal. 

We do know God is still working through us and with us, and in time, He will heal our hearts and take away our sorrows.  He will take away our pain, our fear, our depression and our will to go on without them.  God is my all and all.  Just keep on keeping on!!!!!

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